


You Should Be Happy (Don't Hate Me)

by Anonymous



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Communication but like about the wrong thing?, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Eventual Romance, Friends to Lovers, Hongseok is big sexy with an even bigger heart, Hyunggu is convinced that Wooseok is just oblivious, Idiots in Love, Incest, M/M, Medium Burn, More tags to come as they happen in the story, Multi, Not exactly miscommunication theyre just missing the elephant in the room, OR IS IT, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Past Yang Hongseok/Matthew Kim | BM, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Shower Sex, There is not a braincell found between the three of them, There's a party scene but like I've never been to a party party, Threesome - M/M/M, UNTIL THEY DON'T, Unrequited Love, Wooseok and Hongseok are brothers for... reasons, Wooseok is babbey and demands love but also insecure :(((, medium burn because i live for drama and romance but ultimately im impatient
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Wooseok has been in love with his best friend Hyunggu his whole life. Hyunggu muddles his feelings with Wooseok for Wooseok's brother, Hongseok. Hongseok has always taken care of Wooseok and would do anything for him.In their attempt to protect each other and let the others fall in love, they hurt themselves in the process. They'll be happier once this is all over, I promise.Head empty except for my love of Pentagon.
Relationships: Jung Wooseok/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Jung Wooseok/Yang Hongseok, Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Yang Hongseok, Yang Hongseok/Jung Wooseok
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Engine

**Author's Note:**

> PENTAGON FIRST WIN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
> 
> I rushed to post this to celebrate their first win I'm sorry that's weird.
> 
> Oct. 25th Update: I just added a few lines to the end of the chapter so it won't be so abrupt!

Well, this was new.

Both Hyunggu and Hongseok were shirtless in Hongseok's room. Hyunggu was on Hongseok's lap, Hongseok grinding against Hyunggu. Hongseok was looking up at Hyunggu amazed, like he'd never seen him before. The sandalwood scent of Hongseok's deodorant mixed with Wooseok's apple shampoo perfectly, searing this memory into Hyunggu's brain as he looked down at Hongseok's taut form.

Hongseok: Wooseok’s older brother. Wooseok: Hyunggu’s best friend. Hyunggu: about to suck off Hongseok.

Hyunggu was excited - but something loomed over him at the same time.

Hyunggu and Wooseok had been best friends ever since they went to the same daycare together when they were three and found out they had nearly the same birthday, only four days a part! Wooseok hated being teased that Hyunggu was four days older than him. So Hongseok made sure to mention it often.

Since their parents worked abroad often, it often fell on Hongseok to watch over Wooseok (and Hyunggu, as he unsurprisingly spent a lot of time with Wooseok) almost every day, although he himself was only 4 years older than Wooseok and Hyunggu.

Hyunggu _would_ be embarrassed to say he started realizing he liked men because Hongseok began working out (Hyunggu always secretly drooled over his progress because Hongseok never wore any shirts at home during the summer months; not to mention all the accidental times he'd seen Hongseok's dick), but - well, now he’s more embarrassed to say he’s about to suck off his best friend’s brother rather than just that he found his best friend’s brother to be _very_ attractive.

What was Hyunggu to do? Hongseok wanted to, he wanted to. Just say no?

The lead up to today had begun shortly after Hyunggu and Wooseok enrolled at the same university as Hongseok. They were having some problems with a physics concept and Hongseok teasingly led them through it while he made dinner.

From then on, Hyunggu often asked Hongseok for help (Wooseok would ask Hyunggu to repeat the help after Hongseok and Hyunggu’s tutoring sessions). They met up often as Hyunggu discovered Hongseok could help with more than just physics - biology, chemistry, literature, communications, English, Japanese - Hongseok helped with it all. Hyunggu did the problems on his own and then came with more questions and problems for Hongseok to help him with. Hyunggu probably relished in the 1-on-1 time with his first crush much more than he was willing to admit. Hyunggu knew his heart had moved on from his first teenaged crush on Hongseok to developing deeper feelings for Wooseok, but Hongseok always held a special place in Hyunggu’s heart, something he'd never even told Wooseok. Wooseok would probably be jealous that Hyunggu ever looked at Hongseok that way.

Hongseok was never shy about skinship, loving to tease Wooseok, and Hyunggu by extension, but Hyunggu had never initiated any contact with Hongseok himself until these tutoring sessions. Small touches at first: brushes of fingers, knees knocking passed each other, sitting elbow to elbow, working his way up until over a year later now, Hongseok got used to feeling Hyunggu press his legs against his own and it was more comfortable for Hongseok to have an arm around Hyunggu. Hyunggu felt seen, squashed against Hongseok’s side like he was his own person. He blushed every time Wooseok burst into Hongseok’s room to bother them, hoping Wooseok would pull Hyunggu away from his brother, make his claim. But he never did.

Wooseok was always shy about skinship, especially in Hongseok’s presence since he loved to tease his younger brother with it so much. But Hyunggu knew that Wooseok loved and craved the physical affection. In the seclusion of Wooseok’s room, he loved to wrap his arms around Hyunggu, pull Hyunggu onto his lap, rest his head on Hyunggu’s shoulder as Hyunggu read to him from his notes, from the textbook. Hyunggu worries about Wooseok’s back with how often Hongseok has waken the pair up still sleeping in that position for school the following morning. Hyunggu felt butterflies, tucked away in Wooseok’s arms like he was a part of something beautiful. He blushed every time Hongseok called them worse than a newlywed couple - something Wooseok vehemently denied.

A few months into the tutor sessions, Hyunggu began bringing pastries, coffee, tea, whatever snacks he could as small thank you’s to Hongseok, who understandably should’ve been more busy than go over lower division problems and concepts again and often. Although, Hongseok pretended to be high and mighty, accepting the gifts and asking for more extravagant things, Hongseok always told Hyunggu he didn’t have to bring anything, that he was more than happy to help - that Hyunggu was family. _Family_. The word rung in Hyunggu’s ears, reminding himself that similarly to Hongseok, Wooseok could never see him in the same way he wanted to be seen. That his feelings were only his.

* * *

"Are you staying over for dinner tonight?" Wooseok whispered to Hyunggu.

They were currently in a lecture hall filled with hundreds of other students. Their professor was rambling on about evolution or something. Hyunggu was absentmindedly filling in the blanks.

"Sorry, Wooseok-ah, what?" Hyunggu asked, turning to Wooseok.

"Are you staying for dinner tonight?" Wooseok asked intently.

"Yeah, I can stay after my tutor session with hyung, why?" Hyunggu asked, Wooseok smiled brightly at that, causing Hyunggu's stomach to flutter joyfully.

"Just wondering. Now pay attention, you're such a bad student, Hyunggu-yah," Wooseok teased him, pointing at the slides on the projector.

Hyunggu clicked his tongue but zoned in again on their professor's lecture.

"That will be all for today's lecture. Your assignments can be picked up at your TA's office."

"Yah! Wooseok-ah, I didn't get anything from the last bit of lecture because of you!" Hyunggu pouted, playfully slapping Wooseok's elbow.

Wooseok pinched Hyunggu's cheek in retaliation. "Sorry, Hyunggu-yah. You shouldn't have missed much in 5 minutes. You can ask our TA. Can you get my assignment while you're asking about the lecture too?"

Hyunggu rolled his eyes, gathering their notes, and stowing them into his bag. "I didn't know I signed up to take this course twice," he grumbled.

"Great, thanks! I'll head out now to go shopping, hyung gave me a big list this week," Wooseok said, turning to leave the lecture hall.

"Wait, you're not even coming with me?" Hyunggu asked, now urgently stuffing everything else into his bag. Wooseok hadn't even unpacked for their lecture so he just had to pick up his bag to leave.

Wooseok gave Hyunggu double thumbs up as he walked backwards, with the cutest grin on his face, "You got this Hyunggu-yah, you're the best student I know!"

Hyunggu laughed at Wooseok as he comically walked backwards into a wall. Wooseok gave a small embarrassed smile before ducking out of the lecture hall. Hyunggu sighed, and headed for the TA's office.

Once he got to the TA's office, he saw that he wasn't the only one there: several of his classmates were also lined up outside waiting to get their assignments back. Hyunggu waited as their TA explained every mistake on the assignment to each student, before finally he was able to pick up his and Wooseok's assignment.

He checked the time as he left the building for the bus loop - he just missed the bus. He would have to wait for the next one, which would naturally make him late to catching the bus going to Wooseok's apartment. While waiting for the bus, his phone trilled with the ringtone he picked specifically for Hongseok.

 **Hyung-seok, 16:57:** _brother-9~ im waiting_ (ψ`ー´)ﾉ _wya_

 **H9, 16:57:** _I got delayed picking up mine and Wooseokkie's assignment._

**Hyung-seok, 16:58:** (¬_¬)

 **H9, 16:58:** _I'm leaving the university now. I missed the first bus, but I'll be over soon._

 **Hyung-seok, 16:58:** (◣_◢) _whats more important your grades or Wooseok's assignment_

 **H9, 17:00:** _This was for both of us._

 **Hyung-seok, 17:00:** (`o´) _wrong!!!! im most important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
_

**Hyung-seok, 17:07:** (￣ー￣;)ゞ _right Hyunggu-yah?_

 **Hyung-seok, 17:07:** _Hyunggu-yah._

 **Hyung-seok, 17:08:** _Hyunggu-yah. respond rn_.

 **H9, 17:10:** _Sorry, hyung, I'll be there as fast as I can_.

 **Hyung-seok, 17:10:** ( ￣^￣) _i want a jade necklace for this insolence_

 **H9, 17:12:** _lol_

* * *

Hyunggu ignored the foreman greeting him, running up to the elevator to press the button. Wooseok and Hongseok's parents had purchased a two bedroom apartment for them when Wooseok got admitted into the same university as Hongseok, as Hongseok had been bothering them with the fact that they lived too far away from the university ever since he started going to university. Their old home was their dad's family home, so their parents were reluctant to give it up.

Of course, Wooseok being the baby son getting into university was what finally tipped the scale into them caving for buying a place for their sons. The apartment building was new and many of the apartments were still unoccupied. Hyunggu's family home was similarly in the same area as Wooseok's, so he often stayed the night during the week, but his parents demanded that he return as often as possible and so he did every Friday night to remain in their hometown for the weekend. Hyunggu entered the elevator, pressing the 25th floor, checking his phone: _27 unread messages: Hyung-seok_.

Hyunggu rolled his eyes, leaning against the mirror, breathing hard. Suddenly it hit him, he gasped to cover his mouth. He was so caught up in trying to get back to the apartment as soon as possible, he didn't bring anything for today's tutor session. Since he had begun a year ago, he hadn't missed bringing something for a single session. He felt like a letdown, forgetting something so simple.

Hyunggu anxiously knocked on the door to their apartment.

The door swung open with a flourish, "What took you so long?"

Hyunggu stopped for a moment, the fragrant smell of sandalwood and apples calmed him before he was disarmed by Hongseok opening the door, shirtless, in grey sweatpants, towel around his shoulders, water droplets shining on his chest and arms, his biceps bulging, before remembering he should be saying things, "Sorry hyung, I don't have any snacks with me either. I was rushing after class to pick up Wooseok's assignment, and there were so many other students. I just missed the bus as I left university, so I had to wait for the bus that comes here. It slipped my mind as I was rushing here, sorry."

Hongseok mock scoffed, "Should I even let you in?"

"Please, hyung, I'm so sorry," Hyunggu gave Hongseok puppy dog eyes.

Hongseok leaned against the door dramatically, "Alright, just this once I forgive you. Even if you ignored my messages."

"You weren't saying anything important," Hyunggu said as he scurried in passed Hongseok, taking off his shoes and putting down his bag, heading for the kitchen which was straight passed the foyer.

"How do you know? You didn't read them."

"You never say anything important."

Hongseok opened the door again, "Okay, I think we're done. I'll tell Wooseok-ah you said hi."

"I'm really sorry I didn't bring anything, hyung, should I message Wooseok-ah to pick something up for us?" Hyunggu asked while getting a cup of water and ignoring him.

Hongseok sighed, closing the door. "It's fine, let's go study."

"Did you just work out, hyung? I can prepare your protein shake for you," Hyunggu asked him as Hongseok picked up his bag, going into his room.

"Yeah ok, use the chocolate powder today," Hongseok called from his room, as Hyunggu got it ready.

Hyunggu vigorously shook Hongseok's post-work-out bottle in one hand, holding his cup in the other as he padded across the shiny hardwood floors to Hongseok's room. It smelt even more like Hongseok in his room, sandalwood and laundry detergent pleasantly wafted into Hyunggu's nose.

"Sorry it's not a snack or something, but here you go," Hyunggu said gently, putting down Hongseok's bottle on the desk, sitting in the chair next to him, pressing his leg against Hongseok. Hongseok had pulled on a black muscle shirt and dried his hair, pulling the bottle closer to himself, taking a big gulp from it.

"It's fine," Hongseok reiterated, opening Hyunggu's physics 2nd year textbook. "Stop apologizing already."

"Sowwy, _hyung_ , pwease fowgive me," Hyunggu said, dragging out every possible syllable in the cutest voice he could muster, leaning his head against Hongseok's shoulder, nuzzling gently.

“Suck me off then, my god,” Hongseok joked offhandedly, annoyed with Hyunggu’s constant apologies, poking him in the cheek, just trying to get Hyunggu to focus on his school work, as he shook his water bottle more to dissolve the powder.

When the words Hongseok so jokingly iterated registered themselves in both of their brains, they paused as something in the air shifted, making it tense. Was that over the line? Was it within bounds? Could it be?

"Uh...what?" Hyunggu slowly pulled away from Hongseok, mouth agape as he looked at him.

Hongseok too seemed to be stunned by his own brazenness. "...blow me...? haha..." Hongseok said quietly, weakly laughing, trying to play it off.

Hyunggu could not focus on his school work after that. In fact, neither could Hongseok. The air was tense and thick, as both realised what was about to happen. Hongseok had opened the floodgates that would never close, and Hyunggu never wanted them to.

"Okay," Hyunggu said, lowly, putting a hand on Hongseok's thigh, his mind working mile a minute. Was this about to happen? For real? Was Kang Hyunggu really about to suck of his first and long time crush, Yang Hongseok?

"Okay, what?" Hongseok asked in an attempt to diffuse the air, an eyebrow cocked, as if he thought there was a chance of going back.

"I'll suck you off," Hyunggu said, swallowing his nervousness, using his best puppy-dog eyes at Hongseok.

Hongseok looked like he short circuited. "Um... you don't have to do that... it was just a joke..."

"You don't want me to?" Hyunggu asked softly, pressing a little harder now on Hongseok's thigh, he brazenly looked down to see Hongseok hardening in his sweats, hungrily eying his bulge, "I want to."

It was Hongseok's turn to swallow nervously, looking down at his own traitorous bulge.

"Can I kiss you?" Hyunggu asked, barely above a whisper, leaning in close.

Hongseok nodded.

It was nothing and everything Hyunggu thought it would be like when he finally pressed his lips against Hongseok. It was electrifying - and terrifying. Hongseok's lips were so soft against Hyunggu's own, but in the back of Hyunggu's head, he imagined it was Wooseok he was kissing. Hongseok instantly grabbed the back of Hyunggu's head, pulling him onto his lap, grinding their clothed erections together; Hyunggu had his arms around Hongseok's broad shoulders.

Hyunggu closed his eyes as they parted, pressing their foreheads together. He could fool himself into feeling Wooseok's hair, feeling Wooseok grinding up against him, feeling Wooseok's hands running along his body. But when he opened his eyes, it was Hongseok staring back at him, mirroring his lust.

Hyunggu pulled at Hongseok's muscle shirt, pulling it up and off before kissing him again, running his hands all along Hongseok's muscled form. Hongseok had his fingers in Hyunggu's shirt, trying to work open the buttons. Hyunggu grunted as Hongseok finally opened them all, pulling it off his lithe body.

"Can I blow you now?" Hyunggu breathed, pecking Hongseok's nose.

Hongseok nodded again, but as Hyunggu went to pull his sweatpants down, Hongseok grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "Wait." Hyunggu looked up at him, alarmed. "Sorry, I have to ask this first: do you like Wooseok-ah? Or, does he like you?"

Hyunggu felt a bolt of lightning strike him.

"I can't do anything that would hurt him," Hongseok continued softly. "So, if there's any chance of the two of you happening, I can't... I couldn't do that to him."

Did he like Wooseok? Clearly so. Was something going to happen between them? Probably not. Should Hyunggu deny himself something now, when he wasn't even sure there was something after? Did Wooseok like Hyunggu? Hyunggu scoffed at the idea, doubtful; Hyunggu didn't think there was a chance of a _them_ happening.

"No," Hyunggu breathed, "I don't think anything will ever happen between us."

"Okay, I hope I didn't ruin the moment. We don't have to continue if you don't want to," Hongseok said gently, patting the side of Hyunggu's thigh.

Hyunggu placed his hands on Hongseok's muscled chest, marveling at the definition, playing with Hongseok's nipples, before turning what he hoped were lustful eyes up to Hongseok's handsome face. "I've always wanted to suck you off."

Hongseok pulled Hyunggu in for another kiss, as Hyunggu's hands fiddled with his drawstrings. Hyunggu pulled down his sweats and greedily eyed Hongseok's cock bulging through his black briefs.

"Do you have _any_ idea of how long I've wanted to get your dick in my mouth," Hyunggu asked, pushing the chair back and getting on his knees on the floor, kissing down Hongseok's chest and abs, pressing a wet kiss along Hongseok's clothed cock, eliciting a low groan from Hongseok.

"Why don't you show me," Hongseok replied, just as hungrily.

Hyunggu pulled Hongseok's waistband down just enough to pull out Hongseok's hard dick, giving it a couple pumps. He'd seen it before a few times by accident and he'd thought about it a lot as well but now that it was in his hand, now that he could feel its hardness, it was better than he ever _thought_ it was going to be. He teasingly pressed more kisses to Hongseok's stomach and thighs, slowly stroking Hongseok all the while.

" _Please_ ," Hongseok begged, " _Please_."

Hyunggu smirked, relishing in this new dynamic. Hearing Hongseok like _that_ certainly went straight to his own dick, which twitched uselessly, confined in his pants. Finally, Hyunggu wrapped his lips around Hongseok's cock. To hear him gasp “ _Hyunggu-yah_ ” in the hottest way as he gripped Hyunggu's hair, it was so satisfying, so hot, so _nasty._ Hyunggu went all the way down, feeling Hongseok poke the back of his throat and then some as he nuzzled Hongseok's pubes.

" _Holy shit_ ," Hongseok cursed as the tight, wet cavern enveloping his dick, using all of his willpower to prevent himself from just thrusting up, even keeping his grip light on Hyunggu's hair. Part of Hyunggu wished Hongseok was just a little rougher, but alas he was being held delicately.

Hyunggu slowly dragged his tongue up, letting go of Hongseok with a pop, keeping his fingers lightly wrapped around Hongseok. Hyunggu lightly kissed up and down Hongseok's dick.

"You're beautiful," Hongseok praised him, stroking his hair. Hyunggu smirked, kissing his head before taking in Hongseok once more, sucking around him and pumping what wasn't in his mouth yet. " _Hyunggu-yah_ ," Hongseok's voice was so needy, so sinful - and music to Hyunggu's ears.

Hyunggu hollowed his cheeks as he reached Hongseok's base again, staying there for a moment, letting Hongseok enjoy the feeling, before pulling back until only Hongseok's head was in his mouth, playing with it with his tongue. Then, he set a good pace for himself, bobbing up and down on Hongseok's cock, the lewd slurping noises perforating the room.

"Hyunggu-yah, I'm close," Hongseok warned him as Hyunggu went all the way down again. That caused Hyunggu to speed up more, as if he was trying to jab the back of his throat. " _Hyun-Hyunggu-yah_ ," Hongseok groaned, trying to pull Hyunggu off of his dick. Hyunggu held steadfast as Hongseok unloaded in his mouth, eyes closed and mouth open. The warm fluid flooded Hyunggu's mouth well, and Hongseok groaned as Hyunggu made _obscene_ noises swallowing around his twitching cock.

Hyunggu couldn’t help but lick his lips clean after blowing Hongseok, pulling off again with a satisfying pop. Hongseok had treated Hyunggu so kindly, so tenderly, so _delicately_ , Hyunggu would’ve thought himself a treasured fragile sculpture.

Yet when Hyunggu closed his eyes, he felt Wooseok’s hands on his head, Wooseok’s hips against his cheek, Wooseok’s breath in his ear, Wooseok's shampoo in his nose. _It shouldn’t be like this_. He opened his eyes to see Hongseok sitting in front of him still.

“ _Fuck_. You’re amazing,” Hongseok whispered, breathing hard, as he stroked Hyunggu’s face gently. “Let me return the favour.”

"I'm home!" Wooseok called from the foyer, startling both of them. They pulled away, causing Hyunggu to hit his head on Hongseok's desk.

Both Hyunggu and Hongseok looked at each other panicked, blindly looking for and throwing back on their shirts. Hyunggu depserately smoothing his button-down while Hongseok tucked himself away as well.

They would talk about it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so there may be mistakes. I literally have been sitting on this idea for a while now, ruminating, fermenting it!!!!!!! but their 1st win made me want to celebrate!!! So here we are, just the first chapter, that I hadn't written yet until today alskdlkasjd so also sorry if the ending is unfinished, but I felt it was an okay beat to end on!
> 
> I have a couple more chapters planned, and a few ideas for some scenes and what will happen after that, BUT, I have no guarantees for any timeline or total chapters alksjdlkasj I'm a fool in love so y'kno :)
> 
> Would love if you commented! :D


	2. Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've changed the beginning and ending of the first chapter a little bit, so make sure to read those so you're up to speed :) It's not huge differences but maybe some surprise tools that will be help us later.
> 
> No smut this chapter :(

Wooseok, aged 6, let go of the monkey bar, feeling a searing pain in his palm, falling unceremoniously onto the gravel below, scraping his knees. Wooseok released a loud scream, the waterworks already freely flowing. The playful buzz around the playground stopped at Wooseok's screech, heads left and right turning to see what had made the noise.

“Wooseok-ah! Are you okay?” Hyunggu called after his friend, running from the other side of the monkey bars up to Wooseok, other kids also began gathering around them, murmuring amongst themselves. “Hyung!!!” Hyunggu called out for Hongseok.

Hongseok being 10 and much taller than the other kids, easily pushed his way through the crowd of 6 year olds around his brother, “What happened?” he kindly asked Hyunggu, kneeling next to Wooseok, who was crying, clutching his hand.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Wooseok whimpered, seeing Hongseok through his tears, “It hurts.”

“He fell from the monkey bars,” Hyunggu said. “Is he okay?”

“Okay, baby, can I see?” Hongseok gently asked Wooseok. He lowered his head, shaking it, unwilling to release his own hand. “Wooseok-ah, let me see it,” he said sternly.

Wooseok looked up at Hongseok, and Hongseok tried his best to have a reassuring face, nodding with a small smile; his fingers tenderly wrapped around where Wooseok was holding his own hand. Wooseok whimpered as he let Hongseok unfurl his fingers. Hongseok, Wooseok, and Hyunggu all groaned internally,(Wooseok not internally as he wailed) when they saw the state of Wooseok's hand: a flap of skin had peeled off of his palm, barely attached still, his flesh underneath was pink and swollen, beating at the same rate as Wooseok's heart. Hongseok's stomach lurched as it dawned on him that he was looking at Wooseok's raw flesh.

“It’s okay baby, a callous has just opened up, and when you swung on the monkey bar it pulled some skin off with it,” Hongseok said, trying to keep his own voice steady, helping Wooseok stand up. “Let’s go home, get it cleaned and wrapped up, and then we can get ice cream, okay, Wooseok-ah? Can you do that for me? Just be brave until we get home, okay?”

Wooseok nodded, still crying, shakily leaning on Hongseok. Even with their age difference, Wooseok was almost as tall as Hongseok, making it a little hard for Hongseok to carry all of Wooseok’s weight.

“Hyunggu-yah, do you want to come with?” Hongseok asked kindly, looking around for him.

“Can I have ice cream too?” Hyunggu asked with wide eyes as he snuck around to Hongseok's other side.

“If you help me with Wooseokkie then you can have ice cream too,” Hongseok smiled. Hyunggu nodded, Hongseok laughed, taking Hyunggu’s hand in his, his other arm wrapped around Wooseok to support him, and they began walking home. The walk home was filled with laughter with the undercurrent of crying as Hongseok tried his best to lighten the mood to distract Wooseok.

"Shh, it's okay baby," Hongseok cooed, kissing the top of Wooseok's head, as he had dramatically sloped his head onto Hongseok's chest, letting Hongseok guide him in his arm.

When they finally got home, Wooseok had mostly stopped crying, although a couple sobs came through that Hongseok thought were too pointedly done for them to be real. Hongseok sat Wooseok at the kitchen table, and while Hyunggu tried his best to distract Wooseok, Hongseok went to get the medical kit.

Wooseok sniffled but was laughing at something Hyunggu said when Hongseok returned.

“Baby, do you want to hold Hyunggu-yah’s hand while I disinfect them?” Hongseok asked, opening up the medical kit with a business-like importance. "I'm going to clean your knees first and then your palm, okay?"

Wooseok reached for Hyunggu’s hand, while Hongseok dabbed rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball. Wooseok nodded resolutely and Hongseok began gently disinfecting his knees. Besides some light kneejerks, so far so good. When he was done, Hongseok got a new cotton ball and nodded to Wooseok's palm; Wooseok opened his palm for Hongseok, trying to be brave.

“This is going to sting,” Hongseok warned Wooseok, before making the first dab. Wooseok cried out in pain, recoiling and squeezing Hyunggu’s hand harshly. “I know, I know,” Hongseok said gently, coaxing Wooseok’s hand open again, trying his best to clean all of the skin quickly. When Hongseok was finished, he wrapped some gauze around Wooseok’s hand.

“Does it still hurt baby?” Hongseok asked, tying up the gauze.

Wooseok nodded with a whimper, though he had let go of Hyunggu’s hand.

“Pain, pain, go away!” Hongseok sang, kissing Wooseok’s wrapped up palm. Wooseok giggled and Hongseok wiped away the last of his tears gently with a smile. “Okay! Ice cream time!”

“Yay!” Wooseok and Hyunggu cheered.

“I want 2!” Wooseok pouted.

“Dinner is soon baby, it’ll ruin your appetite! Mom and dad will be mad at me if I give you two,” Hongseok scolded him, as he went to open the freezer, “One is okay.”

“I want two!” Wooseok said again. “I was super brave!”

Hongseok turned from the freezer to look at the table occupied by the two 6-year olds. Wooseok’s pout puffed out his cheeks, and his eyes were still a little red from crying.

Hongseok sighed, pulling out 4 ice cream cups. “I’ll give you a second one if you promise to eat all your vegetables tonight.”

“Yay! 2 ice creams for Wooseok!” Wooseok cheered, a mischievous glint in his eye. Hongseok and Hyunggu laughed heartily.

They both knew he wasn’t going to eat his vegetables, but Hongseok gave him the second cup anyways.

* * *

Wooseok and Hyunggu were sitting on the floor cuddled together. Wooseok's back was to his bed, arms around Hyunggu's midsection. Hyunggu listed off the things they had to know for their biology midterm next week. Wooseok breathed in the smell of cherry blossoms from Hyunggu's hair before resting his head on Hyunggu's shoulder, while Hyunggu had the textbook and his notebook propped up against his knees.

Ever since that tutoring session two weeks ago, Hyunggu and Hongseok had not been alone together for too long. They had no time to talk about it since Wooseok interrupted them before Hongseok could return the favour. Hyunggu was worried: maybe he did mess up their relationship forever and Hongseok wasn't planning on continuing any kind of relationship with Hyunggu at all now that he was satisfied. Or maybe he was actually so bad that Hongseok wanted to avoid Hyunggu forever because he didn't have the heart to tell him. When Hyunggu messaged Hongseok that night to talk about it, Hongseok said it was better to talk in person and that they _definitely_ will talk about it, but until then to act normal.

Then Hongseok cancelled last week's session for a midterm; Hyunggu cancelled this week's for a group project, wanting to give Hongseok space if that's what he wanted.

Wooseok thought they might be fighting about something from their stiffer interactions and lack of tutor sessions, although both assured him they were just busy preparing for tests and projects. Hongseok added that unlike him, they began to do the work ahead of time; Wooseok's ears burned at that and he dropped the topic.

"Let's do convergent and divergent evolution," Hyunggu said, writing it down. "We can also go over the Calvin Cycle in photosynthesis again."

"Isn't it more important to do the energy pathway for ATP and cellular respiration? It's in both plant and animal cells, so they'll definitely ask us in-depth about it," Wooseok countered lazily, resting his head on Hyunggu's shoulder.

"There's not _that_ much they can ask us, since we don't have to know the specific enzymes, just the end products. I think we should have a good breadth of preparation," Hyunggu said, "But we can go over that again too if you want."

Hongseok knocked at the door, opening it slightly, he smiled when he saw Hyunggu and Wooseok cuddled together, before opening the door more, letting himself in. "Heeeeeeeey lovebirds," he drawled, "Sorry to interrupt snuggle city."

Wooseok quickly unwrapped his arms, scratching the back of his head, embarrassed. Though Hyunggu made no move to move away from between Wooseok's legs, still writing things in his notebook.

"We're not..." Wooseok's tired, repeated response came out quietly, trailing off at the end. "It's not..."

Hyunggu shot Hongseok a panicked glance. Hongseok raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm just telling you two that dinner's almost ready, so you should wash up," Hongseok said, smirking. "And leave biology in here. I don't wanna think about it at dinner, especially after my algae midterm last week."

Hyunggu patted Wooseok's knee gently, stretching as he got up, "I'll wash up first. Hyung probably wants help setting the table. You can look at my notes if you want."

Wooseok made a noise indicated he heard and agreed - but he probably would just close Hyunggu's notes and look at his phone. "Are you going to talk to him?"

"About what?" Hyunggu asked, turning to look at Wooseok.

"Whatever you're fighting about," he shrugged, "You've both been tense around each other."

"We aren't fighting." Wooseok raised his eyebrows, giving him a look that said _sure buddy_ , but pulled Hyunggu's notebook onto his now open lap as if to dismiss Hyunggu. Hyunggu scoffed and left to wash his hands.

"Can you set the table?" Hongseok asked without turning away from the saucepan on the stove as Hyunggu entered the kitchen.

"You said act normal," Hyunggu whispered crossly as he walked up next to the electric stove to open the drawer with the cutlery. "Wooseok's suspicious."

"Was that not normal?" Hongseok asked with an eyebrow cocked. "I didn't say anything I haven't said before."

"I meant in general-" Hyunggu was about to let his inner monologue unleash when Hongseok cut him off.

"Hyunggu-yah," Hongseok said seriously, in a low tone, but focused on stirring the sauce, "You sucked me off. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't let it. Now's not the time to talk about it. Set the table. Wooseok will be coming soon."

"Well, when _will_ we talk about it?" Hyunggu asked, genuinely concerned. "It's been two weeks."

"Next week, after your exam. I said I'd return the favour and I will. If you want that to be it, that's fine. But we will talk about it then, and _not now when my sauce is almost finished_. I don't want Wooseok complaining that the sauce is overcooked."

When Hyunggu simply stood by the drawer mouth agape, Hongseok finally spared a look at him. They stared at each other, Hyunggu unsure of what was supposed to happen next, before Hongseok pulled him close, kissing his temple sweetly. "Good enough? Move along now."

Hyunggu's stomach exploded with butterflies as he looked back and forth as if trying to find some response. His temple tingled where Hongseok kissed him and his cheeks were flushed in embarrassment as he finally opened the drawer to get the cutlery. _Calm down_ , he told himself. As if Hongseok had never kissed him before. Yet, somehow this time it felt different.

"Dinner time!" Wooseok cheered later as he entered the kitchen. He looked at Hyunggu finishing setting the table then to Hongseok pouring his red sauce over rice cakes. "Ah! Tteokbokki! My favourite!"

"To prepare you for your midterm next week," Hongseok laughed, lightly slapping Wooseok's hand as he reached to grab one. Wooseok pouted. "You didn't even set the table, you can wait for it to be on the table like Hyunggu-yah."

Wooseok ran to sit next to Hyunggu, putting his head down onto Hyunggu's shoulder, making fake crying noises, "Hyunggu-yah!! Hyung is bullying me!"

Hyunggu laughed, patting Wooseok's head, "He made your favourite dish and you think he's bullying you."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" Wooseok whined into his shoulder, tugging on Hyunggu's sleeve like a toddler. Hyunggu chuckled good-naturedly but said nothing else, smiling wide as Wooseok continued to lean on him and tug his sleeve.

Hongseok brought the plate of tteokbokki onto the table, cheese oozing on top. "Yah! Wooseok-ah, this is a dinner table, not a playground. Sit properly."

"Yes, mom," Wooseok said sadly, slouching as he sat up.

Hongseok rolled his eyes and Hyunggu laughed. "Anyways, I will eat well."

* * *

The following week went by incredibly quickly for Hyunggu as his and Wooseok's biology midterm approached. Between studying and his group project, Hyunggu didn't realise it was time to talk to Hongseok until he was walking into his room for their next session.

"Did you want to talk first, or did you want me to blow you first?" Hongseok asked, closing the door to his room.

Hyunggu sat on Hongseok's bed, and patted the spot beside him, beckoning Hongseok to sit, sandalwood pleasantly filling Hyunggu's nose after being bereft of it for two weeks. "What do you want? You're always taking care of me and Wooseok, tell me what you want."

Hongseok sat next to Hyunggu, their knees touching, "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No," Hyunggu felt light but also potentially crushed - was Hongseok going to ask him out? What would he say if Hongseok did?

"Me either. In fact, last time was the first time in a long time I've had any action," Hongseok said truthfully. "It's probably been, uh, some time since I've had sex."

Hyunggu was surprised, "What? You? Why?"

Hongseok laughed, "What do you mean _why_? Have you ever seen me bring someone around?"

"It's not like I follow you around all the time. I just assumed you were doing your own thing whenever you wanted, with whoever you wanted - I mean, shit. Look at you. Hyung, you're _hot_. You're kind and thoughtful. Maybe you're a little annoying sometimes-" Hongseok pinched Hyunggu's cheek "-But you're a catch all around."

Hongseok smiled brightly at that, "Thanks, but no. My uh, dates, tend to find the same fatal flaw with me."

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow, "Your dick's too big?" he joked.

Hongseok smirked sinfully, wiggling his eyebrows. "You liked it though, didn't you?"

Hyunggu ignored him, "So then what is it?"

"Wooseokkie," Hongseok whispered.

"HUH?" Hyunggu asked, almost jumping back, flabbergasted, "What do you mean? Is he crashing your dates? I thought that green bean grew out of doing that."

Hongseok seemed to contemplate with himself, humming a bit while he decided how to answer. "I guess so. Unintentionally though, if you're wondering. Wooseok has never date crashed physically... but, well, you know him, eventually something comes up, and I always run home to help him. My dates don't really appreciate that I always leave in the middle of dates."

Hyunggu's eyebrow was permanently raised, "So... you ditch dates to help Wooseok whenever he asks for something?"

Hongseok leaned back on his elbows, huffing, counting the bumps on the ceiling. "Yeah, I guess so. Maybe it's more that I never really wanted to actually date any of the people I've gone out with, so I was more okay with having an excuse to leave and took it at every opportunity; he sure gave me plenty."

"Nobody thought you going around helping your little brother was endearing?" Hyunggu asked with a small smile.

"They do at first. But when we start becoming more serious, they get more annoyed that I can't prioritize them over Wooseok. I always wanted to go on dates and stuff, but when I did, it didn't feel like I thought it should. I never felt the spark or connection I wanted," Hongseok lay down now, still staring at the ceiling.

"Are you aro? Or demiromantic?"

"Arrow? Demi-chromatic? What are those?"

"Aro, or aromantic. Like, you don't experience romantic attraction. Demiromantic is like... you want to know you'll like them before you go out with them. There's a whole spectrum besides sexuality."

"Isn't that how regular people date? How will you know if you'll like dating someone until you've dated them?"

Hyunggu clicked his tongue. "It's about building an emotional connection first before you become interested in someone. Anyways, it's fine if you don't know or don't have a label for it. I just thought I'd ask in case you had."

"Well, I've never thought about it. But it's never felt right, I guess? I think I'm romantic, I just... haven't felt the romance yet."

Hyunggu hummed in acknowledgement. 

"Well, there was one, I'm not sure if you remember him," Hongseok started wistfully.

Hyunggu looked at Hongseok meaningfully.

"Kim Jinseok," Hongseok said with a certain fondness in his voice that caused Hyunggu's heart to constrict.

"Tall guy, American, right? Just after you started university?" Hyunggu clarified, controlling his voice.

"Yeah..." Hongseok said wistfully, he closed his eyes, looking like he were remembering something painful but meaningful. "We only broke up because he had to move back to America, since he finished studying here," he said slowly.

The air filled with something unspoken between them, Hongseok laying in nostalgia, Hyunggu reservedly watching Hongseok reminisce with himself. Then, Hongseok, still lying down, slapped a hand onto Hyunggu's knee, leaving it there to idly draw circles. "What about you? You're so interested in my love life, let's talk about yours."

"I-" Hyunggu started. How could he tell Hongseok that he's only really liked 2 people his whole life, and that one of them was in this room, and the other was said crush's little brother? That Wooseok's apple shampoo subtly joining in Hongseok's sandalwook deodorant was driving him crazy and always did? "I've done it before, with someone at high school. It wasn't that good."

"Wanna talk about it?" Hongseok frowned, turning his head to look up at Hyunggu.

"It's pretty disappointing, I'd rather not," Hyunggu winced at the memory of it.

"Aw, c'mon, I grew up with you! Anything you tell me will be a secret. And I wanna hear it," Hongseok cooed. "A little bit of Hyunggu-yah's naughty adventures."

Hyunggu looked down at Hongseok, he had a hand lazily up his own shirt, rubbing his stomach, exposing the lower half of his taut abs, his hair cutely tousled, matching his cute pout. Hyunggu sighed, but spoke anyways, "It was on prom night in grade 11. Some kids snuck in alcohol and we went and found some unused classrooms. We played seven minutes in heaven and I got "stuck" with a senior boy partner since there were less girls. I told him we didn't have to do anything if he didn't want to. He asked me if I wanted to suck him off and I said yes, and that's it. He came pretty quickly and asked me not to say anything about it. And that's about it. The last time I got any too."

"That _is_ disappointing," Hongseok said, but he sat up now, pulling Hyunggu close to him, "You did pretty good last time though; I would not have known that was your second time with a dick in your mouth. Especially mine. Wait... you never answered me, you did like it, right?"

Hyunggu smirked, "Yes, hyung, I rather enjoyed it."

"Good," Hongseok smiled casually, but had lust in his eyes. "And Wooseok?"

"What about Wooseok?"

"I asked last time, but maybe we weren't thinking clearly. Are you sure that if we start something, that's not trampling any potential relationship between you two right?"

Hyunggu bit his lip, "Hyung, I don't think anything will ever happen between me and Wooseok."

Hongseok cupped Hyunggu's face with an unreadable expression, before kissing his forehead.

"So, then. Where does that leave us?" Hyunggu nervously asked.

"Let's be friends with benefits. Is that okay?" Hongseok said lowly, wrapping an arm around Hyunggu's waist, "I want you to be comfortable with anything and everything we do, if you ever want to stop anything, just say so."

"Yes, that's okay," Hyunggu whispered back. It would be best if he and Hongseok didn't actually date, no chance of his old crush resurging. "Just to be clear, Wooseok comes first for both of us. I think it's best if we don't tell him what we're doing."

"I agree, I don't wanna think about the tantrum he'd have if he found out."

"And let's not let this ruin our friendship, whatever _this_ is. I don't want to imagine a falling out between us."

"Of course, we can stop doing this at any time, and go back to how things were before," Hongseok whispered into Hyunggu's ear, playing with Hyunggu's belt, slowly getting it open. "So, you want that blowjob or what?"

"God yes," Hyunggu breathed and Hongseok hungrily kissed him, pushing him to lie down on his bed. Hyunggu moaned into the kiss and Hongseok finally pulled open his belt and unzipped his pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoyed and thank you for waiting if you read the first chapter last time! It would mean a lot to me if you left comments <3


	3. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I have returned!! I hope you all had a good start to 2021. Or I'd like to say that, but the US has already started with a bang haven't they.
> 
> Anyways, this was definitely only supposed to be a couple chapters of just porn but here I am planning and writing PLOT and FEELINGS. Enjoy!!!!!!!!

Hyunggu and Hongseok continued their trysts for the remainder of the winter semester. They never did more than they had the first two times, and a part of Hyunggu desperately rationalized that as not "taking it further" or "upgrading their relationship." Hyunggu at least wanted the precedence that there was no underlying romantic tension. As if he felt that doing more would hurt Wooseok more than what they were already doing.

He also wanted to at least use _some_ of the limited time they had for actual studying, whereas Hongseok was content to "cuddle the day away" as it were, especially as the sun began setting earlier and earlier in the winter months. Some days Hyunggu managed to convince Hongseok to actually study, and others Hongseok managed to keep Hyunggu sequestered in bed (at least until Wooseok came home) with the warmth they generated, kisses aplenty, staring at the stars through Hongseok's window. In fact, nothing could have prepared Hyunggu for how _affectionate_ Hongseok would become, given he was the one who suggested they be friends with benefits.

It started small at first, gentle kisses to Hyunggu's forehead after they had both finished, having a strong arm around his shoulders when they finally began studying, playing with his hair while waiting for him to ask a question, or just leaning on him in general. Then, Hongseok got comfortable doing more and more, and increasingly so out of their study sessions: Hongseok would kiss him in greeting, or wrap his arms around him if Hyunggu "ignored him", or send him shirtless selfies, or sneak in kisses randomly, or pull Hyunggu onto his lap, or annoyingly hold his hand while Hyunggu got water as if he would die if he weren't touching Hyunggu for more than 5 seconds, and did Hyunggu mention Hongseok kissed him all the time - it was _a lot_. But it was also definitively saccharine and sublime, and it made Hyunggu feel warm and fuzzy inside, like he was absorbing pure sunlight.

Not that Hyunggu would ever admit that to Hongseok. Or to himself.

Hyunggu instead had to swat Hongseok away more than he ever remembered having to before, but that only made Hongseok smirk and chuckle deep in his throat which made Hyunggu feel a certain _excited_ way that he tried to hide from Hongseok. Hongseok pouted when Hyunggu didn't let him in too much; so Hyunggu made sure to initiate every now and again, which always made Hongseok perk up immediately.

Hyunggu supposed he could've seen it coming, given how affectionate Hongseok was with him and Wooseok already, but it was if a dial had turned this up to 11. Although Hyunggu did not mind the post-shower selfies or gym selfies from Hongseok that had now littered his phone's memory and nothing was more reaffirming than when Hyunggu sent back a (clothed) selfie and received 36 different heart emojis in return. Part of him wished Hongseok would be more careful when Wooseok was home but another part didn't.

Wooseok would poke his head into their tutoring sessions from time to time, eyeing their newfound closeness with jealousy. They had begun getting into exceedingly closer and closer calls with Wooseok almost walking in on them not doing tutor things - a problem they quickly noted because Wooseok and Hyunggu have the exact same class schedule, wanting to do their whole degree together. And Hyunggu attributed the close calls to Hongseok because he seemingly wanted Hyunggu to be attached to him at all times during the sessions, even when they weren't doing anything sexual.

However, Hyunggu did not mind the close calls. He wanted Wooseok to find them. To one day walk in on him and his brother not studying. He wanted Wooseok to see him, as someone to be desired, someone to be held, to be fucked - to be loved. To finally have the balls to do it himself. Instead, they were keeping it a secret from Wooseok.

 _What_ they were keeping a secret from Wooseok, they weren’t sure. They definitely weren’t dating, something Hyunggu made sure to repeat to himself often, and they both agreed that Wooseok would always come first over each other.

In fact, to Hyunggu’s surprise, Hongseok hadn’t been sexually or romantically active at all because he was so worried about Wooseok that he could never hold a relationship together. Dates consistently dumped him because of it. Except for Jinseok, Hongseok's boyfriend from when he started university, but he returned to America a few years ago, breaking both of their hearts. So, Hongseok thanked Hyunggu for allowing him to be a little selfish and still be able to be the older brother Wooseok needed him to be. Hyunggu never said anything to the contrary, although a certain sinking feeling mounted in his chest.

The winter semester had passed, with frantic studying occurring for 2 weeks during finals season putting a hard pause on Hyunggu and Hongseok's "tutor" sessions before Hyunggu, Wooseok, and Hongseok could enjoy being free from school for the remainder of the year. Much to Wooseok's, and Hongseok's, dismay, Hyunggu returned home immediately after his last final and spent Christmas with his family. 

Hyunggu managed to convince his parents to let him stay at Wooseok and Hongseok's from the New Year until the first couple of weeks the semester started again (he would return for the Lunar New Year and thus his birthday as well). Over the Gregorian New Year, Hongseok and Wooseok wanted to have a party for international students staying in Korea as well as have a pre-celebration of Hongseok's last semester of his undergraduate degree.

Hyunggu arrived at Wooseok and Hongseok's on the 29th, in the haze between Christmas and New Year. As he stood outside their apartment building, the cold air bit his skin and the mist of his breath puffed out with each exhale. He texted Wooseok that he'd arrived outside his building. Then, while his focus was on his phone, he felt his leg give way, his phone and duffle bag flew out of his hands, then he was staring up at the sky, his backside wet and sore.

Hyunggu groaned as he felt around for his phone, a new crack on his screen where he had dropped it. Thankfully, it had landed on dry ground, although Hyunggu was not as lucky, having landed in some slush. Then he looked at the ground, spotting the patch of black ice he'd slipped on. Hyunggu rubbed his back briefly to ease the pain before he huffed at the ice indignantly, trying to look as dignified as possible as he picked up his items and dashed inside the apartment building, saying hello to the doorman as he went.

"Hyunggu-yah!" Wooseok exclaimed, throwing his lanky arms around his shoulders, almost knocking them over, after Hyunggu knocked on their door.

"Hi Wooseokkie, miss me that much?" Hyunggu laughed, returning his hug gleefully, enveloped in the smell of fresh apples, all butt pain forgotten.

"You're here most days of the week; it's too quiet without you," Wooseok said, ushering in Hyunggu, taking his bag and coat off as Hyunggu took of his shoes. "Hyung was also really cross the whole time since you left; I think he didn't do so good on one of his finals," he added in a low voice in Hyunggu's ear.

"'Sup? Did you eat yet?" Hongseok asked idly from the couch, but his eyes were no longer trained on the television, instead eying Wooseok whisper lowly in Hyunggu's ear.

Hyunggu giggled, pulling off his gloves. "Yeah, mom made me lunch before I came."

"Let's play League! I declined the queue because you had texted that you arrived," Wooseok said, bouncing on the balls of his feet as they walked further into the apartment into the living room.

"You mean you want me to watch you play League," Hyunggu rolled his eyes.

"You're bad at games Hyunggu-yah, so what's the difference?" Wooseok asked, bouncing off to his room, as he heard the game notification that the queue had activated again.

"Yeah, you better run!" Hyunggu laughed, watching Wooseok zoom off when suddenly his vision was eclipsed by Hongseok sauntering up and the smell of sandalwood re-greeted Hyunggu, reminding him how much he enjoyed the scent.

"Hi," Hongseok breathed. His eyes were dark. There was a warm hand on Hyunggu's waist and another cupping his face. Hyunggu let himself be held still. Hyunggu's face warmed as Hongseok touched him - from the temperature difference or...?

Hyunggu swallowed thickly, butterflies exploding in his stomach; he couldn't help but notice Hongseok's arms flexing, he couldn't help but feel the heat between them, he couldn't help but smell sandalwood. Hyunggu tentatively put a cold hand on Hongseok's chest to stop him from closing the distance, enjoying the feeling of warmth and hard muscle beneath his shirt. " _Hyung_ , not in the middle of your living room when Wooseok is expecting me," Hyunggu said softly, imploringly, staring at him, but with no bite in his admonishment.

"I can't talk to you anymore?"

"We both know you want to do more than talk."

Hongseok chuckled at that. "I missed you... I never got to congratulate you for the end of your exams," Hongseok said casually - too casually for the look in his eye. He tugged Hyunggu closer. He placed a hand over Hyunggu's hand on his chest, kneading Hyunggu's hand; warming it against his chest. The words hung in the air _I missed you_ , warming Hyunggu's heart.

"You didn't- you don't-" Hyunggu stuttered over his words, not quite sure how to feel at the moment, his head spun with _want_ , Hongseok was so close, he felt like he could breath him in, like it was just the two of them alone in the world, "Hyung, please."

"Can I?" Hongseok asked, tipping up Hyunggu's chin to look into his eyes directly.

Hyunggu nodded expectantly and Hongseok leaned in.

"HYUNGGU-YAH! ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?" Wooseok's shout cut through the moment, and spooked Hyunggu, causing him to jump up and head butt Hongseok, causing both of them to recoil back, but Hongseok caught Hyunggu, steadying them both.

Hyunggu rubbed his forehead bashfully, while Hongseok grinned at him. "Sorry," Hyunggu whispered urgently trying to scoot away, but Hongseok held him in place, staring at him with those hungry eyes. "I'm coming!" Hyunggu shouted over Hongseok clicking his tongue in disappointment. Hyunggu kissed Hongseok's cheek.

"Okay," Hongseok relented, releasing his hold on Hyunggu, before patting him on the butt. "But I _will_ congratulate you."

Hyunggu laughed as he trotted off to Wooseok's room, ignoring the new burning feeling on his butt which was not from falling on ice. Wooseok's room felt like a second home to Hyunggu: random idol posters plastered onto the wall, the navy blue walls welcoming him back; Wooseok's dresser was adorned with various trophies and awards, musical and academic, along with many pictures of him with Hongseok and Hyunggu. Though, Hyunggu eyed the empty chip bags scattered about with distaste.

"The game already started," Wooseok whined from his desk, "What were you doing?"

"Hyung wanted to talk about the party on the 31st," Hyunggu said, making something up as he made himself at home on Wooseok's bed on top of his bedsheets, feeling a wet pressure underneath him, but his mind was preoccupied with checking his phone for damage.

"Hmmm? What about it?" Wooseok asked, watching the loading screen.

"Oh, this and that," Hyunggu said vaguely, his fingers and face were still warm from Hongseok. Whose hungry gaze pierced through his thoughts, like rays of sunlight through a layer of clouds.

"Like what?"

Hyunggu hummed in response before he quickly jumped up off the bed. He realized what the wet pressure was, looking at the wet patch on Wooseok's blankets now, "I'm sorry Wooseokkie!"

"Huh?" Wooseok turned to look at Hyunggu, before sharply turning back to his game. "Why are your pants wet?"

"I fell on some ice just before I came inside, I'm sorry! It's just the top blanket," Hyunggu explained quickly.

Wooseok stood up, looking around to Hyunggu's backside, "I didn't see anything earlier when I took off your coat. Are you okay?"

Hyunggu nodded as Wooseok came close in an eerily similar fashion to Hongseok approaching him moments before, although Hyunggu had to look up at Wooseok who was way taller than him now, and had to remind himself to breathe while staring at his handsome face, "It's okay - _I'm_ okay. you keep playing. I'll go change."

"Tell Hyung you got them dirty. He can wash and dry it before we go to bed tonight," Wooseok said with a concerned look in his eye, although they were now standing closer than Hyunggu and Hongseok just did, there was a certain fondness between them unstated.

"Alright, alright." Hyunggu sighed in relief as Wooseok only went back to his desk. He slipped on the headset, clicking his tongue in annoyance that he wouldn't have an audience to his amazing gamer skills.

Hongseok raised an eyebrow as Hyunggu came into the living room with Wooseok's blanket balled up in his hands. "If we're trying to be subtle I don't think this is the way to go," Hongseok teased Hyunggu.

"I uh, got them wet and dirty," Hyunggu said innocently. "Can you wash them? I told Wooseok I'd change."

"Alright," Hongseok laughed, walking up to Hyunggu again. Hyunggu extended the blanket in his hands. Hongseok put his hands on top of Hyunggu's, pulling him close again; Hyunggu made a noise of surprise, dropping the blanket between them. "Congratulations," Hongseok whispered before capturing Hyunggu's lips in a kiss. Hyunggu moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Hongseok's shoulders, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

Hongseok smiled coyly as they parted for air, brushing aside a stray bang from Hyunggu's face. "You wanna sneak off after Wooseok's asleep?" Hongseok pressed their foreheads together to whisper low, "We can celebrate for real."

Hyunggu laughed, breaking away from their forehead touch, "You think Wooseok will sleep tonight instead of talking my ear off?"

"Bring him along," Hongseok smirked, nudging Hyunggu.

Hyunggu burned red at that. "Bye," he said embarrassed, hurrying off to change, leaving Hongseok alone to clean the blanket.

* * *

Hongseok sucked at his teeth as he looked in their cupboards and pantry and realised that they had no food in them. At least, nothing to serve at a party. Unless all his guests wanted to eat his protein powder and granola bars. Maybe Hoseok or Yuto would be okay with that. A calm disappointment filled Hongseok: he went shopping with Wooseok to buy extra snacks specifically for New Years. It really wasn't a big deal, but Hongseok had managed to get Wooseok in a more amenable state through his pallid and short demeanor the last couple of weeks. So, he figured he could get Wooseok to go out and buy some stuff now, without going himself, before the shops closed for New Year's Eve.

"Wooseok-ah!" Hongseok called from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Wooseok's muffled response came through.

"Can you come in here please?" Hongseok tried to keep his voice even.

"What?"

"Can you come here please?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"COME HERE!"

There was muffled shuffling and a few moments later Wooseok padded his way into the kitchen demurely, his bangs flopping in front of his eyes cutely, "Yes my loveliest and most handsome Hyung, how may I be of service to you today?"

"Didn't we go shopping?" Hongseok asked calmly, an eyebrow raised.

"We did."

"Did you eat it all then?" Hongseok felt like one of the models on a game show as he opened the cupboard for Wooseok to reveal his prize - but it was empty.

"I... I'll-I'll go out and buy some more," Wooseok said slowly, the situation dawning on him as he eyed the empty cupboard. "Can I finish my game first?"

"Yah!" Hongseok dashed towards Wooseok, who eluded Hongseok's grip by darting into the foyer from the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going!" he shouted back, hastily pulling on Hyunggu's winter coat and scarf by accident.

Hongseok huffed as Wooseok closed the door. Then he went to the entry table, fished out Wooseok's wallet and keys from the porcelain bowl they put their things in and held them up.

A moment later, a breathless and flushed Wooseok burst through their door again, "I forgot-" he looked at the items in Hongseok's grasp, "thanks," he said sweetly, grabbing them and dashing again.

"Hey!" Hongseok called into the hallway, stopping the door before it closed again. "I think you forgot something else."

"What?" Wooseok asked, jogging back to their doorway where Hongseok was leaning against the door frame.

"Kisses for my sweet baby," Hongseok cooed in a baby voice, leaning up to pinch Wooseok's reddened cheek and peppering the heated skin with kisses.

"Ugh, hyung, did you hit your head just now? You're suddenly in a good mood now," Wooseok teased him lovingly, but made no move to push Hongseok away, his ears tipped red in embarrassment.

"Take your time at the store. I'll send you the list again," Hongseok said softly against Wooseok's skin.

Wooseok rolled his eyes, he only forgot _one time_.

"Don't forget Hyunggu likes the honey butter chips," Hongseok said seriously, when he stopped kissing Wooseok's cheek.

"You spoil him hyung. What about what _I_ like?"

"If you come back with a single bag of salt and vinegar chips you can stay at the store."

"B-but what about kisses for your sweet baby," Wooseok pouted, mimicking Hongseok's baby voice.

"Oh now you want them," Hongseok teased him back. The elevator dinged, and Wooseok quickly went in, fleetingly promising to not get any salt and vinegar chips and to get honey butter chips for Hyunggu.

 _Hyunggu_.

Hongseok realized they would be alone for a bit and smirked to himself.

"Hyunggu?" Hongseok called, going to the hallway that led to both their bedrooms, before hearing the shower running. Perfect, he'd already be naked.

Hongseok stepped into the steaming bathroom. _Closer_ by Tegan and Sara was playing from Hyunggu's phone of the dock. He quickly stripped off his own clothes.

"Wooseok-ah?" Hyunggu asked inquisitively, his back still to Hongseok.

Hongseok padded into their walk-in shower, picking up Hyunggu from behind and spinning in place, causing him to yelp.

"Ah! Hyung! What are you doing!? You almost gave me a heart attack!" he said breathlessly. "I'm all wet and it's slippery, that's dangerous."

"Yeah I was kind of hoping you were wet," Hongseok rasped against Hyunggu's shoulder, pressing a kiss there.

Hyunggu rolled his eyes, "And what about Wooseok?"

"I just sent Wooseok out. It's just you and me, in a paradise of our own," Hongseok said smartly, turning Hyunggu around to kiss him. "Just stand there prettily and I'll take care of the rest. Quick and dirty."

Hyunggu nodded, moaning into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Hongseok's broad shoulders, who had a warm hand trailing down his torso down to his dick, pumping it to hardness. Hongseok gently got Hyunggu pressed up against the wall, the cold tile against his back contrasting with the hot water which rained down on them.

When Hongseok felt Hyunggu was hard enough, he began trailing his kisses southward, stopping to bite Hyunggu's collarbone along the way.

"Not too hard," Hyunggu requested breathlessly, with a hoarseness that made Hongseok even more excited than he already was. Hongseok looked at the mark he made on Hyunggu's skin, happy enough with how it looked now, even though it would soon disappear.

Hongseok kissed the head of Hyunggu's cock. Hyunggu moaned, hands finding their way into Hongseok's hair, digging into his scalp. Hongseok licked his way up and down Hyunggu's dick, still not taking it in.

Hyunggu swallowed thickly as he looked down at Hongseok on his knees, his eyes shining up at him. How was he so lucky...?

Hongseok fondled Hyunggu's balls, taking one softly into his mouth. Hyunggu whimpered at that, letting Hongseok control the pace. Hongseok pumped Hyunggu slowly as he gently sucked on his balls. " _Hyung_ ," Hyunggu whimpered, as Hongseok let his ball drop from his mouth.

"Yes, let me hear you," Hongseok whispered, placing tender kisses on Hyunggu's thigh.

" _Please_ ," Hyunggu begged. Even when Hongseok was on his knees, he had the power; he smirked at that, finally taking Hyunggu back into his mouth, feeling the warmth of Hyunggu on his tongue. Hyunggu tugged Hongseok further down onto him.

Bobbing up and down Hyunggu's length, letting his tongue feel every inch. Hongseok kept his hands on Hyunggu's waist, preventing him from thrusting into Hongseok's tight heat. Hyunggu merely whimpered as he felt Hongseok's throat constrict around his head, trying to thrust his hips in time to match Hongseok's bobs, but Hongseok's strength was showing as Hyunggu realised he couldn't move at all.

"Naughty boy," Hongseok tutted breathlessly. As he popped off of Hyunggu, he looked up at him with his eyes shining, "Didn't I say just stand there prettily? What are you doing trying to choke me?"

"Nng, not choke, just... _help_ ," Hyunggu said incoherently, like he was starstruck.

"Well none of that either, ok, Hyunggu-yah? You let me do the work now," Hongseok said matter-of-factly, as if he did not just have Hyunggu's dick in his mouth. When Hyunggu did not respond, Hongseok bit his thigh. " _I said_ , ok, Hyunggu-yah?"

"Yes, yes, ok!" Hyunggu said exasperated, "Please, just start blowing me again."

Hongseok smirked menacingly, "Of course." Then he engulfed Hyunggu down to the root once more. Hyunggu let out his loudest moan yet.

This spurred on Hongseok, who let his throat relax around Hyunggu's head. His own moans muffled against Hyunggu's length. Hyunggu whimpered, trying to prevent himself from thrusting - he would be good. Hongseok slowly dragged himself up Hyunggu's length, swirling his head around with his tongue, before slowly going back down again.

" _Hyung_ ," Hyunggu continued to moan incoherently.

Hongseok picked it up slightly, settling on a moderate pace that was good for him, just a _touch_ on the teasing side for Hyunggu, but that was what made it perfect for Hongseok. As he looked up at Hyunggu's blissed out face, he smirked to himself. Hongseok wrapped his fingers tenderly around the rest of Hyunggu's length, pumping in time with himself.

" _Hyung_ , _I'm close_ ," Hyunggu whispered hoarsely.

Hongseok quickened his pace, pulling off just before Hyunggu cried out, painting Hongseok's face briefly before the shower water washed it down. Hyunggu sighed contentedly. He stayed on his shaky legs, leaning against the cool wall. Hongseok licked his lips, standing up to kiss Hyunggu dumb. Hyunggu didn't even cringe at tasting himself this time.

"Let me-" Hyunggu whispered as they broke for air, reaching for Hongseok's obviously hard dick.

"Let's just say... you owe me. Later tonight?" Hongseok smirked, pulling away just in time for Hyunggu to miss. "I expect Wooseok to be home soon, so I would like to dry off."

"You think I don't last that long?" Hyunggu asked, mock hurt.

"I get it, you want my dick." Hyunggu rolled his eyes affectionately. "But, we should still be careful. The less wet I look, the better."

"Okay... tonight, I'll sneak away after Wooseok falls asleep," Hyunggu said, pulling in Hongseok for one last kiss. Hongseok smiled widely, letting them kiss a little longer than strictly necessary, before pulling away and drying off.

Hyunggu was like starlight, distant and bright. But, in moments like these, Hongseok felt like Hyunggu was with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, thank you for reading up til now! I hope you enjoyed! I greatly appreciate all comments, subscriptions, kudos, and bookmarks! 
> 
> I've also sort of switched to Hongseok's pov! For the next couple chapters we're follow our favourite insufferable hyung :)


	4. You Like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday the the penjelbe himself Wooseokkie ^.^ And belated happy birthdays to Kino and Yuto! I hope they all had an amazing week!!!!!
> 
> I meant to include the New Year's party in the last chapter but my brain said Hyunggu can have a little blowjob as a treat and who am I to say no to that? In the end it worked out well bc idk how i would've included the scenes between Hyunggu's arrival and the party if I already started the party alskjdlaksjd (says me.... making the flashback of this chapter the beginning and ending anyways laksjdlaksj time is fake <3)
> 
> Also it do be a little bit longer than some previous chapters but I can't find a good place to stop/separate them, please enjoy!

"I'm gonna get you!" a 14 year-old Hongseok screamed, aiming the gun at Wooseok.

Wooseok squealed as he just managed to run around the corner in their living room, avoiding Hongseok's shot. "No!!!!! Don't shoot me!"

"Yeah! You better hide!" Hongseok cried, running after Wooseok.

Wooseok bolted up the stairs as another foam dart shot past him, happily screaming all the while. Hongseok's steps were slowly stomping up the stairs; panic rising in Wooseok, he dashed into their father's study, slamming the door behind him and turning the lock.

"Hey, Wooseok!" Hongseok said behind the door, "We're not supposed to go in there, you know that!"

Their father's study's walls were completely covered by bookshelves, and the bookshelves were lined with heavy legal tomes, trophies, medals, and framed images of their parents with important looking politicians. Hongseok didn't much like being in there, as it reminded him of the differences between him and their father - he wanted to run around and had too much energy for him. While Wooseok had similar amounts of energy as Hongseok, something about being the baby always endeared him to their father, who would let Wooseok sit on his lap while he typed away on the computer, complicated formulas and codes going over his head.

Wooseok looked on wide-eyed and enraptured at many of the awards, the descriptions on the plaques as always went way over his head. Hongseok's banging on the door continued despite Wooseok not paying him any attention. There was a handsome oak desk at the end of the room with similarly delicate and expensive looking ornaments decorating the surface. A glittering glass globe with a lengthy academic description inscribed on it sat next to two framed pictures on the desk beside the computer monitor: one, a picture of the four of them smiling at an amusement park, and the other of their dad shaking hands with a politician, the same glass globe sat on a pedestal in the background of their handshake.

The door clicked open and Hongseok burst in, surprising Wooseok, causing him to dive under the desk. There was a thud, a crash, and the sound of glass shattering barely preceding Wooseok's crying.

"Wooseok-ah!" Hongseok chastised him, dropping the plastic Nerf gun, running around behind the desk, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Wahhhh!!!! _Hyung_ ," Wooseok wailed, launching himself into Hongseok's arms; Hongseok let out a small _oof_ as Wooseok collided with him, his head also hitting the oak desk as he cushioned Wooseok's impact. There was another set of crashes. Wooseok had grown taller than Hongseok was at that age and showed no signs of his growth slowing down at all.

Hongseok gently patted the top of Wooseok's head, repeating his earlier questions softly, "What happened, baby? Are you okay?"

Wooseok only continued to cry into Hongseok's chest. Hongseok looked around, seeing shards of glass from both picture frames from the two impacts into the desk and something missing from the desk that he couldn't quite place. But first, Wooseok.

"Where are you hurt, did you hit your head?" Hongseok continued to ask. Wooseok nodded. "Okay, let me see," Hongseok said, bending over Wooseok's head, looking for any cuts or abrasions. He carded his fingers through Wooseok's hair gently, "Looks like just a bump, let's get up and get something to clean up the mess, okay?"

Wooseok nodded slowly, as Hongseok helped him up, wiping Wooseok's tears on the back of his hand. Wooseok tenderly grabbed Hongseok's newly tear-stained hand for comfort, and Hongseok squeezed him back, looking around.

"Let's be careful of the glass, okay?" Hongseok led Wooseok around the debris and out of the room by the hand, picking up his abandoned Nerf gun along the way. Then when they were downstairs, he got Wooseok to sit down on the couch. "Does it still hurt, Wooseok-ah?"

"Yeah..." Wooseok sniffled in a small voice.

Hongseok quickly went to get a bag of frozen peas from the freezer, "Put this on where it hurts, that should help."

"Thanks," Wooseok mumbled, gingerly taking the bag of peas.

Hongseok smiled comfortingly as Wooseok did as he was told, easing the peas onto the top of his head. In order to observe him better, Hongseok moved to sit in front of Wooseok on their coffee table.

They sat in silence, besides Wooseok's sniffles. "Shouldn't you tell me to toughen up or something?"

"What do you mean?" Hongseok asked, surprised by Wooseok's sudden question.

"I don't know... that I should... man up, or something? I'm already ten, I shouldn't be crying, right?" For all the height Wooseok had over Hongseok, he certainly looked more childlike, especially now, holding the frozen peas on his head, his eyes still red, a trail of snot running down from his nose. "Like you? I should be strong?"

Hongseok's eyes softened, and he leaned over to kiss Wooseok's forehead. "There's no such thing," he breathed quietly, grabbing a tissue and wiping up Wooseok's snot. "You are you. Do what you like. You don't have to do anything or be anyone else, and especially not me. If you need to cry about it, that's okay. I'll hold your hand all the while. If anyone tells you otherwise, then I'll pick a fight with them. I'll always protect you, okay?"

"Promise?" Wooseok whispered.

Hongseok held out his pinky, "I promise. I'll protect you from anyone and anything."

Wooseok enclosed his other pinky around Hongseok's; they shook on it to solidify their promise. Then, he closed his eyes tightly and pressed the bag of peas harder, trying to fight the tears as his emotions overwhelmed him. Hongseok released their pinkies and moved to sit next to Wooseok on the couch, putting an arm around him, absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder as Wooseok began to cry again.

* * *

Hongseok had been very content since Hyunggu had arrived back at their apartment. Not just because of their, _celebrations_ , but Hongseok genuinely felt the holiday cheer as the three of them ramped up to New Year's Eve.

Hyunggu lay on Hongseok's bare chest, breathing low and slow as he slept. Hongseok watched his clock which read 5:02 am, and knew that Hyunggu should return to Wooseok's room - he would begin practicing the violin soon. Hongseok had somehow managed to convince Hyunggu to stay for a while after they finished celebrating and so he fell asleep against Hongseok's chest. It was hot - Hyunggu always ran a little hotter than normal. It was winter, and with Hyunggu on his bare chest, Hongseok didn't even feel the need to have a blanket over their torsos either.

The smell of cherry blossoms warmed Hongseok's heart; watching Hyunggu was mesmerizing, like observing constellations in the night sky. He felt light watching him. When Hyunggu scrunched up his face, nuzzling closer and sighing contently, Hongseok couldn't bring himself to wake the sleeping beauty just yet.

As Hongseok reached up to pet Hyunggu's hair, he caught his own hand midair - he shouldn't indulge. After all, they weren't dating. Hyunggu liked to remind him as much, and for good reason. _Wooseok_ , he reminded himself, for the record, as a guilty pang reverberated through him.

The clock turned to 5:30. Hongseok sighed as he gently shook Hyunggu. "Hyunggu-yah," he gently blew air onto Hyunggu's face. "Hyunggu-yah."

Hyunggu groaned, blocking Hongseok's air attack with his hand. " _Wooseok-ah,_ " he giggled, "A few more minutes."

Hongseok paused. Another guilty pang.

"C'mon, get up, you gotta get back to Wooseok," Hongseok reminded him, ignoring himself. He shook Hyunggu again. "You can sleep there, with 4 seasons playing live." Hongseok kissed the top of Hyunggu's head who grumbled something, then as he fondly watched Hyunggu lumber out of his room he pulled blankets around himself to replicate the warmth he lost.

Later that day, Hyunggu convinced him and Wooseok to watch a scary movie, despite Wooseok's protests. Hongseok closed all the blinds in their living room, pulling out the bed in their couch with warm blankets while Wooseok and Hyunggu prepared a big bowl of popcorn.

Wooseok did not watch the movie as after he let out a high pitched pterodactyl screech after the first jump scare, he spent the rest of the movie with his head buried in Hongseok's chest under the blankets, shielding his eyes and ears from the movie.

Hongseok chuckled, but had let Wooseok pull his arm close to him to hold his hand anyways. Hyunggu was tucked in on his other side, eyes enraptured with the film. Hongseok was not paying attention to the movie either, instead watching both the boys glued to his sides.

"You're not scared?" Hongseok whispered in Hyunggu's ear.

Hyunggu slapped Hongseok's face away without looking at him, his eyes shining as he watched the screen, "Shh! They're going into the basement!"

Hongseok chuckled then leaned down to whisper in Wooseok's ear, "Enjoying the movie?" Wooseok nodded against Hongseok's chest with what sounded like a whimper; Hongseok consolingly squeezed Wooseok's hand, a warmth in his chest.

That night, someone padded into Hongseok's room at about 3 in the morning, causing Hongseok to stir awake.

"Hi," Hongseok whispered breathily. Hongseok grabbed his shoulders, pulling him close and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Um... Hyung?"

Hongseok kept his eyes closed, realizing who he had kissed, and it wasn't Hyunggu. He released his shoulders, falling back against his pillow.

"Wooseok?" he asked softly.

"I can't sleep. Can I be with you tonight?" Hongseok opened his eyes to look Wooseok. He was leaning over the bed, unmoved from when Hongseok pulled him close. His pale skin was glowing beautifully in the moonlight. His eyes were shifting about and he was chewing his bottom lip.

Hongseok reached out and grabbed his hand gingerly, lifting his covers so Wooseok could join him. "Of course, baby." Wooseok's face lit up as he crawled under the covers, facing Hongseok expectantly. "Yah, Wooseok-ah! I'm not the little spoon here."

"But I'm taller than you, it's awkward for me," Wooseok argued, attempting to push Hongseok over. Hongseok pinched Wooseok's arm in retaliation.

Wooseok pouted, but Hongseok remained adamant. "Okay, tough guy, did you want to be here or not?"

Wooseok rolled his eyes but rolled over onto his other side anyways. Hongseok had snuck an arm around Wooseok's side to pull him close and Wooseok intertwined their fingers for comfort.

"Good boy," Hongseok breathed lovingly, drifting off gently back to sleep.

The next morning, Hyunggu complained about being left alone in the middle of the night; Wooseok and Hongseok cozied up to Hyunggu for the rest of the day, annoying him further.

* * *

On New Year's Eve before the start of their party after they had set everything up (as in, set out shot glasses and snacks), Hongseok forced Hyunggu into wearing the same ugly Christmas sweater as him and Wooseok, much to Hyunggu's dismay. The bright green and tinsel hurt his eyes, and Wooseok liked to poke the "Ho, ho, ho" and call Hyunggu as much. Hongseok smiled wide at the pout on Hyunggu's face, tousling his hair and pinching his cheek.

"I don't have to keep it on the whole time... right?" Hyunggu asked acerbically, already pulling at the collar.

"Oh yeah you do," Hongseok teased him. "It'll stay on the whole night! You'll be matching with us until next year."

Hyunggu rolled his eyes, "You're telling me you want to keep on these stupid sweaters and drink? We'll overheat!"

"It'll be a good reminder to be hydrated the whole time," Wooseok nodded sagely. 

"That's the spirit, Wooseokkie! Now, smile!" Hongseok teased them, holding up his cellphone to take a selfie of the three of them. Wooseok smiled so widely his eyes closed, a pair of peace signs held up beside his face, while Hyunggu continued to pout in the background of the picture, glaring at Hongseok. "Yah! Hyunggu-yah! Smile!"

Hongseok was spared from whatever Hyunggu was going to retaliate with when there was a knock on their apartment door. Hongseok opened the door with a flourish and heartily greeted Jinho and Hui with a hug each.

"You're early," Hongseok teased them.

"We're on time," Jinho said matter-of-factly, tapping his phone screen to indicate the time.

"Which means you're early. Who comes to a party on time?"

"Maybe when you do something other than work out your abs, blood can circulate to your brain for you to think about the answer to that question," Jinho shot back teasingly.

"And maybe when you've had a couple of shots, you'll lighten up," Hongseok smirked, standing aside from the door to let them in.

"Oh by the way, Hongseok-ah! I have a belated Christmas present for you," Jinho said as if he just remembered, beaming widely.

Hongseok chuckled excitedly, looking around behind their backs to see where it could be, since both of them were empty-handed, "Oh really? Where is it?"

"It hasn't arrived yet," Jinho replied mysteriously, checking his phone.

"You're so mean," Hui teased Jinho, who only smiled in response, with an evil glint in his eye.

"What do you mean," Hongseok pouted. "When is it arriving?"

"Later tonight, hopefully. Trust me, you'll love it," Jinho said, patting Hongseok on the elbow and walking further into their apartment, pulling Hui along with him. Hui gave Hongseok a sorry-but-I-don't-know-anything-either sort of look.

"Are Hyojong and Hyunah coming?" Hui asked Hongseok.

Hongseok shook his head, "They're at Hyunah's parents' tonight. Wooseok asked Yuto and Yanan to come. I think Sorn mentioned she might bring some classmates from their Thai group chat."

Jinho and Hui settled in comfortably, and soon after that guests began trickling in over the course of the night. Hyunggu perched himself on the couch's arm next to Wooseok, easily talking to Shinwon and Changgu who had arrived quickly after Jinho and Hui. Sorn, Elkie, Lisa, Rosé, Minnie, Yu Qi, and Shuhua all arrived together an hour later, bringing a vibrant energy with them. Even so, Hongseok found himself continuously bringing his eyes to the couch, no matter who he talked with, danced with, his attention found its way back to Hyunggu on the couch.

Bambam, Jackson, Ten, and Yuta crashed the party with soju and rowdiness. With one drink and nobody asking him to, Jackson pulled off his shirt. Hongseok let himself get goaded into doing a body shot off of Jackson while the others cheered him on. Hui even managed to convince Jinho to let him lick salt off of Jinho's neck for his own.

Wooseok set up the karaoke machine and everyone got a chance to perform their favourite song. It was getting hotter and hotter, and Hongseok wanted to remove the Christmas sweater himself, but stayed steadfast to annoy Hyunggu - as soon as he took it off, it would give Hyunggu permission to do so as well.

Once Yuto and Yanan arrived at their apartment an hour before the countdown, it turned to utter chaos. Yanan started yelling, which meant Wooseok started yelling, so Hyunggu yelled at them to be quiet, and Yuto joined in on the yelling to avoid being left out. Hongseok chuckled at the scene, red in the face, as he downed a cup of cold water, though it did nothing to actually cool him off or steady himself.

As their apartment filled with more people, Hongseok could begin to ignore how his eyes would linger on Hyunggu and Wooseok, how Hyunggu stayed attached to Wooseok, and Wooseok to him. He envied their closeness, even through the heat he could feel rising in him from the party, alcohol, dancing, and sweater he was wearing. He tried to fill the void he felt by entertaining guests and downing shots. It wasn't working.

Jinho tapped him on the elbow, "Oh hey, it's here! Your present, I mean," Jinho said, typing furiously on his phone, continuing his mysterious act; Hui looked over Jinho's shoulder and smiled wide at what he saw. "Can you go downstairs to accept it?"

"Why, what is it, Jinho-hyung?" Hongseok questioned him, brandishing his red cup wildly, the drink inside precariously swishing around the rim.

"Open the door and see for yourself," Jinho smirked, now sharing a knowing look with Hui, who had nodded sagely beside him. He knew that meant that Jinho wouldn't tell him what it was.

"You really will enjoy it, Hongseok-ah," Hui confirmed gently. Hongseok scowled at the theatrics of it all, leaving his apartment to go downstairs and receive whatever gift Jinho had for him.

Whatever Hongseok was expecting, it wasn't a tall, hulking man in a backwards cap and sleeveless sports jersey. A man who took his breath away. A man he loved. A man who had left him heart broken. 

"Matt?" Hongseok breathed, suddenly feeling the need to sober up. The man jumped up and down, excitedly waving at Hongseok through the glass door, his breath fogging it up.

He wasn't expecting Jinseok Kim to be behind the door. And yet, here he was. Hongseok's heart swelled so much it burst into tiny shards as the man stood in the doorway staring at him. Hongseok wrenched the door open and was quickly enveloped in a hug, the cold air whipped his face, grounding him.

"Jared!!" a deep voice chorused in his ear. Matt picked up Hongseok and spun around in a circle, both of them giggling like kids again.

"Oh my god, it's really you!" Hongseok said excitedly, tightly holding on and hugging him back once Matt put him back on his two feet.

"Man, your pecs are _popping_ ," Matt said, putting his hands on Hongseok's chest, feeling the definition even through the thick sweater. "The pictures you sent don't do your man-tiddies justice man."

Hongseok smirked, standing a little taller at Matt's praise, sizing up his bulging biceps, "Thanks, you're not doing too bad yourself."

"Bro, this place is _tight_ ," Matt continued in awe. "When Jinho said you were living in this area, I couldn't believe it."

Hongseok reached out to Matt to show him the way up, "Let's talk upstairs, I doubt the foreman wants to hear us yelling at each other all night."

"That never stopped you before," Matt smirked, causing Hongseok to blush, but he took Hongseok's hand and followed him inside all the same, the cold from Matt's hand tempered Hongseok's emotions. Conversation flowed easily as they entered the elevator and made their back to Hongseok's apartment, hand-in-hand.

"So what are you doing back in Korea?" Hongseok asked, after getting Matt into his kitchen to pour him a drink, facing away from him.

"Is 'I missed you' a real answer?"

Hongseok almost knocked over the glass he was pouring into. While Matt leaned against the cupboard, staring at him with a fond gaze; Hongseok stared straight out the tall window, watching their distorted images in the frame.

"Don't," Hongseok said lowly, suddenly his Christmas sweater was too constricting, too hot, too itchy.

"Sorry," Matt said simply. "I don't have a gift or anything either, I wasn't sure what you'd like." 

"We dated for two years and you weren't sure what I'd like?" Hongseok teased breathlessly.

"We dated for two years, and were apart for two more, how could I know who you'd grow into?"

Hongseok laughed dully at that. "Yeah."

"C'mon, man. I'm here now," Matt implored lowly, "What's the correct answer? What would you like?" Matt approached Hongseok from behind, wrapping strong arms around his waist, placing his head on Hongseok's shoulder; Hongseok realized how long Matt must've been outside, as his arms were still cold. "Hongseokkie," Matt sang lowly to him. "I'm serious. I missed you."

Matt's arms had the same warmth from before, but Hongseok felt it different from a warmth he currently craved. The rumble, the tenor, the bass in Matt's voice comforted Hongseok but something inside of him caused the comfort to wane. Something was off. Matt was right: Hongseok had changed since then.

Hongseok could feel Matt's heartbeat while the shards of Hongseok's burst heart made themselves apparent: each one was a question for Matthew. When did he arrive? Where was he staying? _Was_ he going to be staying? What were his plans? How was training? When was the last time he stepped in the boxing ring? Was he here for work, family, or something else? Did he see anyone? Is he seeing anyone? How was he after he arrived back in America? How were his parents? Why was he so quiet?

_How could you break my heart like that?_

Instead of asking any of those questions, Hongseok let himself sway with Matt to the beat of the song that Shinwon was singing to in his living room. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel safe with Matt like he used to be able to, their breaths in sync. Hongseok wasn't sure how long they swayed in the kitchen in a world of their own, people may have even entered and left, he wasn't sure, he wasn't paying attention to anything but Matt's breath on his neck, Matt's arms around his waist, and Matt's crotch pressed against his ass.

Hongseok felt the first of many tears gathering under his closed eyes as he swayed with Matt, everything they said; no, everything they didn't say, weighing on him. Hongseok stopped, trying to steady himself. Why couldn't Hongseok say anything he actually wanted? When Matt felt Hongseok stop swaying, he loosened his hold and let Hongseok turn around to face him.

"Shit-" Matt quickly rasped, wiping away Hongseok's tears. "Hongseok-ah, I didn't-"

Hongseok lowered his head for a moment, before he let his resolve take over, giving Matt a watery smile, "Matt. It's okay-"

"Man, I really wanna kiss you," Matt cut him off.

The words hung in the air while they stared at each other, Matt's brown eyes boring into Hongseok's own. Whatever Hongseok was thinking about quickly left his brain, replaced by his memories of kissing Matt. The words _please do_ were on the tip of his tongue, ready to fly out - but he stopped himself from vocalizing it. His head was spinning, his face was hot, and his tears flowed freely. So, instead they stood there, holding each other, staring at each other, the words Hongseok wanted to say remained in his throat as all air left his body. But Hongseok wasn't so sure what he wanted anymore.

"Hyung, it's almost time for the countdown," Wooseok called at them, walking into the kitchen, he stopped paralyzed when he saw who was occupying his brother's time.

Matt's face dropped for the briefest of moments before he turned his award winning smile to Wooseok. Hongseok turned away from the doorway as well, to discretely wipe away his tears. "Yo, Wooseok-ah!" Matt greeted Wooseok heartily, going in for a hug.

"Jinseok-hyung!?" Wooseok greeted him back enthusiastically, hugging him back. "When did you get back? Are you staying?"

"Wooseok-ah," Hongseok scolded him, in what he hoped was an even voice, turning to face them. "Matt just got here. Let him put down his coat before you pick his brain."

Wooseok smirked knowingly at Hongseok. "Okay, well, if you can, come into the living room when you're finished _putting Jinseok-hyung's coat away_ ," then he returned to the party.

Matt laughed, then turned serious again as he approached Hongseok.

"60!" the guests in Hongseok's living room shouted.

"You good?" Matt asked, clapping his hands bracingly onto Hongseok's shoulders.

Hongseok nodded slowly, wiping away more tears.

"Did you want to go into the living room?"

Hongseok shook his head.

"30!"

"I just. Matt..." Hongseok continued slowly, catching his breath, trying to find the words.

"Hongseokkie," Matt said lowly when Hongseok didn't elaborate further, pulling Hongseok close by the waist.

"10!"

The two stared at each other as everyone counted down from 10.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Matt leaned down to kiss Hongseok, and Hongseok felt the love that the two of them had cultivated together float up from the depths of his broken heart.

* * *

After Wooseok had finished crying, he had drifted off to nap. 14-year-old Hongseok made sure that Wooseok was sleeping in a good position. Then, after putting the peas back in the freezer, he went back into their father's study, broom and dustpan in hand ready to clean up the mess.

Luckily it was hardwood flooring, or Hongseok would have a lot more trouble cleaning up the glass shards that had scattered across the space. He made sure to clean his father's chair, then he found new picture frames to put the pictures in, propping them up nicely. Hongseok inspected the keyboard and every other surface he could think of for stray glass shards. Then it hit him - the item missing from his father's desk was an award from the city for his work in creating city infrastructure to capture carbon and convert it into green energy. Hongseok would have to tell his Father about it in no uncertain terms.

Their parents returned home much later that night from their dad's business trip.

"Father, I have something to tell you," Hongseok said after their mom also went to prepare for bed, standing in front of his dad while he read the newspaper on the couch.

"Hmm, yes, what is it son?" he responded absentmindedly, adjusting his reading glasses.

"I broke the glass award that was on your desk, I apologize," Hongseok said meekly, bending low at the hip in a bow.

The newspaper tore from the speed at which his father fumbled folding it incorrectly to put it away. " _What_?" he hissed.

"The award that was made entirely of glass, it shattered," Hongseok repeated, flinching. "I did my best to clean up the glass shards on your desk and chair, but you may want to take another look to be certain. I replaced the picture frames too, they had fallen as well."

"Hongseok-ah, you know you're not supposed to be in my study," he said lowly, in an attempt to keep himself calm. "What were you doing there?"

"I thought I would read up more on what you do, how to be a computer software engineer like you," Hongseok said robotically. "I pulled out one of your books too quickly and knocked the globe off your desk."

Father huffed at that, seeing through Hongseok's lie. "I thought you'd be too busy with your _athletics_ to be interested in what I do."

"No, no, I'm interested!" Hongseok said, panicked, raising himself from his bow to earnestly look at his father.

"Don't lie to me, Hongseok-ah. I know you'd rather be fighing than sit tinkering with computers," he said coldly.

"I've been thinking about my future," Hongseok admitted. "I've gotten into a good high school through boxing and martial arts, but I was thinking about what I'd do beyond that. I was wondering about what you do and that it might be a good fit for me as well."

"It's hard work. You may have to drop one to pursue the other," Father drawled, perhaps picking up on the fact that talking about it would bore and annoy Hongseok more. Then, Hongseok endured a lengthy series of lectures from his dad. Firstly about safety since he broke the glass globe, secondly about respecting his dad, his privacy, and his orders, then finally about some sort of technical environmental engineering that Hongseok truly had no passion for.

"If you truly wish to follow in my footsteps, I suggest you devote more time to your studies and less to training."

"Thank you, Father," Hongseok said when his father had finished speaking. "I will be more careful in the future."

Hongseok wondered if his ears would work the same ever again since his father had spent so long speaking endlessly and lowly so as to not wake up his mom and Wooseok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is possible that the morning that Wooseok went to Hongseok is New Year's Eve and not separate days alksjdlakjsdl Don't think too hard about the timeline it all works out anyways llaksjdlakjs
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading thus far! I hope you enjoyed ^.^


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